The locksmith eyed this birdfeeder and mentioned it might attract more bears than birds...oops.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Critters in the Hills

Last week, I had a nice adventure in the mountains with Mama and Daddy. We met up at the cottage on Thursday, around lunchtime, with a sack full of BBQ sandwiches and some homemade carrot cake. I couldn't hardly wait to get everything settled in so I could relax on the swing and just sit and stare off at the high mountains.

There's always a flurry of activity upon the blinds, turn on the air, turn on the water heater and turn on the water at the well house. As the summer has come on, I've started hesitating before venturing into the well house. Actually, I don't go inside the well house, good heavens no. I just gingerly lean in, checking for snakes, spiders, rats, bees, wasps, hornets, mice, bats, bobcats, foxes, bears or any other godforsaken critter, and quickly turn the water valve.

So as I went to turn on the water, I first picked up five rocks from the road and systematically threw them about every foot as I walked towards the door of the little wooden shed. I figured if there was a snake, the rock would rouse it from it's snake nap, or whatever it is snakes do as they lie-in-wait. I removed the yellow wire from the door latch and swung open the door.....and out flies a huge spider carcass on a trapeze! I jumped out of the way, screaming, and my right elbow got bumped by the door trying to swing shut. To my horror, I saw the inside of the door was covered in three of the largest spiders I have ever seen! They had huge thighs and were easily the size of a small tarantula! Oh my GOSH I screamed and ran from that dang well house as fast as I could!

Look at the SIZE of these spiders!

THIS is what has bred in the walls of the well house. It was sorta hard holding it while taking a picture, but I'm brave like that...

Hopefully, Dirk will be able to come up with at attack plan and rid that place of unwanted guests. In the meantime: Attention all you gargantuous tarantulous spiders, that well house is not Motel 6 and Tom Bodett did not leave the light on for you!

The evening ended well with some pickin' and some fiddlin' down at the senior center.

Later that evening, back at the cottage, I was letting Savannah and Annie Fannie out to tee-tee one last time and I noticed a slew of huge bees on the porch, quite agitated and flying up against the windows...apparently trying to get inside the house.

 These weren't just regular bees, no, these were like something you'd see on an Alfred Hitchcock movie, and good heavens above they were congregating on my porch at night no less, and were dang-near about to bust down my door. What in the heck is it with these freakishly large critters!

 I googled grotesquely huge bees and found out we were experiencing the little-known phenomena of the European hornet-lighted-window-attraction. Apparently, these hornets move about at night and are attracted to lit house windows. I'm wondering if they'd also be attracted to one of those lighted hanging zappers. Zzzzzt!!! Enough large creature drama for me in one day! Next time I'm bringing the .410 and a box of shells!

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